Brain Rotting Fun?

When Jaylen was a year old, he had a tendency to become addicted to certain things.  We didn't know it was Autism yet, but knew him not connecting with us, retreating into his own world, and filling and dumping buckets for hours was strange.  I can still hear his first home therapist's nervous and appalled laughter as she told me not to let him fill and dump or play with dirt for more than a half hour.  Who knew?  I thought he was just really independent.

One of his "things" was TV.  He loved certain shows and could watch Noggin (now Nick Jr.) for hours on end.  I always judged those parents who let the TV babysit their kids before I had kids of my own.  For us, the only alternative to tantrums, self injurious behavior, the constant filling and dumping, or spinning in circles was TV.  So we let him watch.

Fast forward 4 years and Jaylen is really not into TV much at all.  He will request an episode of SpongeBob most days.  According to him, "I don't watch little kid shows anymore, just big kid ones."  Which is crap because as soon as Xavi is watching a "little kid" show his eyes are glued to the screen.



 

In the winter, we watch more TV out of cabin fever and boredom.  Now the weather is nice, we are out most of the day, and when we come in the TV just stays off.  As long as they are not asking for it, why use it?  Every once in a while they will be hyper or fighting and TV is a good way to calm them down.  Sometimes I need to get work done and the TV does babysit for a half hour.  Overall, it does feel good to find other things to do besides TV.

The boys in 2009

The boys in 2010

Am I one of those people that thinks TV rots kids' brains?  No.

Do I think it may affect their attention span?  Yes.

Can we find other things for our kids to do to get exercise, interact socially, and learn actively?  Easily. 

But do I love when I get a minute to myself as Chuggington is blaring from the playroom?  Absolutely.

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This post was written for Best of the Best on SOS Research Blog.  

I did it for...

I walked for Jaylen.

I walked for all the kids I know with Autism, who are loving, sometimes frustrated, special kids.

I walked for frustrated parents doing the best they can. 

I walked for the parents who just got the diagnosis and are confused, sad, lost, and hopeful.

I walked for people who raise awareness, promote understanding, and do the research to help our kids. 

I walked for Jaylen.

Thank you to everyone who donated to Team Jaylen.  Together we raised $3,106.00

(In the pictures: me, my husband Gerald, Jaylen, Xavier, my Mother-in-law "Mimi," and my sister "Aunt D")

Summer Sorrow

Had I known, back in August of 2008 when I dropped my 22 month old off at school, that he would be in school year round forever, I may have done things differently. 

It seemed so simple, I was only dropping him to get ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) Therapy, he would get better, then he would be home with me again, right?

Here we are 3 years later and he is still attending school all year.  He did get better, but not as good as a child whose parent gets to choose how their child will spend the summer break.  Nope, that choice has been taken from me for 3 summers, and it probably will be for years to come. 

Right now I absolutely cherish our mornings.  He, Xavi, and I pack each AM with the best activities.  This last summer, before full day Kindergarten, and before he started wanting to go to camp, was supposed to be mine to cherish as well!  I had plans, activities for each day, memberships to here and there, beach days every other day, but now those are tossed.

Nothing like the clear blue waters of Long Island Sound.  Jaylen is probably carrying that stick for protection from things like the Montauk Monster (Google it).

Jaylen did not qualify for ESY (Extended School Year) which is a summer special education program, but is going to a different program for kids who need Kindergarten readiness. 

He's got the academics, as a former K teacher I know he is already in 1st grade academically.  But socially and emotionally, he is back at that first classroom I mentioned from 08.  He still cries, a lot.  He still doesn't know how to interact quite right.  And he gets extreme anxiety over everything. 

Since I have to miss yet another summer with him, I hope he at least learns those skills and shows signs of K readiness by the end.

I know many parents don't have the choice either, mainly due to work issues.  Especially single parents, the majority of whom will never be able to take a summer off to spend with their child.  Camp it is!  There is something to be said for the choice being taken away.  The choice to have Jaylen home during the summer, is not ours.  It is written, documented in his IEP. 

I know this is somewhat petty in the grand scheme of things.  But I can't help but feel a slight bit of pain over never getting to spend a summer with my boy.  It is yet another issue Autism has created.  And yes, Xavi and I will have a blast at the beach and the Children's Museum every day, but my heart will ache, and Xavi will be lonely, with our 3rd morning buddy missing. 

How is everyone else's summer shaping up?  Will you be home with your kids?