Reading? Who has time?

About 5 years ago I was tagged in a reading meme by Heather and Allie and never had a chance to participate (shut up Lynn, who always gets on my back about how long I take to get things done).

I still want to share even though the meme has long since been passed around and fizzled out.  Gosh I suck.

I usually read a few pages in a book before bed, then reread the same few pages the next night because I was half asleep and don't remember what I read.  I have been on Sweet Valley High Book 2 since I was 14 and am just getting the gist of pages 25-28.  A few more nights should solidify it for sure.

My friend Brandy is always reading romance novels and I am a virgin at reading anything with Fabio on the cover.  So she Kindle loaned me my very first smutty read (who even know you could Kindle loan, wtf?) and I burst out laughing at the cover.

I am just finishing up Mockingjay, the last book in the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins that I highly, highly recommend.  I have been up till 1 in the morning some nights reading these.  Then Going Down (above book - since I know you didn't even realize there was a title) is so on.

On a more serious note, I also just recently bought these fabulous special needs books to try and deal with some serious anxiety issues Jaylen has been having.

The book of feelings is something we read together and fill out.  Jaylen doesn't get the concept at all, but maybe some is sinking in.

The New Social Stories Book is awesome.  All the social stories you'll ever need (kind of, you know how our ASD kids are) written and ready to read.  There are pictures, just not personalized as some say social stories should be.  But it is written by the expert, Carol Gray.  Here are a few of my favorite stories:

AKA: Stop flapping and grabbing your junk just because there are birthday presents and don't tell people you don't like their gift.

Ain't that the truth

Oh the horror, damn fire drills

I am also eagerly awaiting my signed copy of this:

Wow, Big Daddy is on the cover of 2 books in my post!

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Blog Gems - Air Your Archives #14

My best blog friend Jen from The King and Eye created Blog Gems about 7 months ago, and wants to continue the tradition while she focuses all of her attention on her son's health.  I offered to take over hosting this week and we will find others who are willing to keep it going too!

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How many posts do you have languishing in your archives? Great posts that will never be dusted off and brought out to breathe again! Maybe you created fabulous content before you had lots of followers, or maybe you have been blogging for years and your current followers haven't seen your older material.

Blog Gems - Air Your Archives is a forthnighly linky list where we will give a prompt and you select a post from your archives that fits the prompt. You do not have to create content for the prompt, unless you want to. All you have to do is copy and paste the url of the post into the linky list. Voila, an old post gets a second shot!

To take part:

1. Follow my blog to get future Blog Gem posting information and linkys.

2. Grab the Blog Gem button and place it on your sidebar (html code here or above)

Putting the button on your blog is not a dealbreaker, some people just don't like doing it and I have no problem with that at all. What I will say is that something like this can't be successful without 'word of mouth' so I would appreciate if you could find another way to let people know that this is available and they are welcome to join in.

3. Enter your link.

4. Read and comment on the submissions of the two blogs posted before you on the linky list. (Please!)

5. Help me spread the word by telling your blogging friends, either by tweeting this or blogging about your entry.

Since Jen is in need of some laughs, let's link up to anything that is laugh out loud funny.  If you have nothing laugh out loud funny, just link to a post that will make us smile!

Broad interpretations of the prompt are encouraged so this could be a good chance to be creative!





For any newer bloggers don't worry if you have to link up posts that you have linked up before, it is very unlikely that you will end up with the same readers as last time so continue to join in and have fun. Many, many thanks to those of you that blog about Blog Gems, I really appreciate the links and help getting the meme 'out there'.

Brotherly Love of the Autism Kind

"I always thought Jaylen would remain in a shell and Xavier would be left without a companion, but instead their worlds intersect a lot.  As a baby, Jaylen's therapists were so concerned over how he could spend hours in his own little world, filling and dumping buckets of toys, watching water pour out of a hose, and spinning to Maroon 5 tunes (I know, it was as unbearable as you'd think.  The most sadistic torture has nothing on being forced to listen to that guy for hours everyday).   Jaylen never seemed to notice or care when I got upset, my husband and I fought, or if we were trying to include him in play.  Xavi is the complete opposite, a personable, always in your face 2 year old." 

That is a sneak peek of my featured post over at The Squashed Bologna.  To read more, head over to Varda's innovative series Special Needs Siblings Saturdays (SNSS).

MT2B is Featured on SITS Today

SITS resident RN, Jen, who also happens to be a blogger at Buried with Children, and mommy of triplets + 1, decided to do a segment this week in honor of Autism Awareness month.

Today Mommy To Two Boys is featured along with some other fabulous Autism moms.  SITS is a fabulous site for moms, bloggers, and women in general so if you haven't been by, check it out! 

http://www.thesitsgirls.com/2011/04/stories-from-moms-of-children-with-autism/

Thank you Jen and SITS for helping to raise awareness of Autism. 

(Special note to my bloggy friend Big Daddy, I know only one of those descriptors (blogger) includes you, but you can still stop by and show some love, then peruse the site for tips on the hottest nail colors or flirty spring fashion trends...)

Do you believe in Karma?

 When someone tails you on the highway then a few minutes later you see them pulled over: Karma.

When your 2 year old screams, "No!" at you and hits you.  Then when he turns to walk away he trips over his firetruck: (not getting hurt of course, I'm not that cruel)  Karma.

When you help an older woman pick up all the boxes of hair color after she knocked literally every one off the shelf at the store and then you find a $10 bill on the ground by your car:  Karma.

(Note:  If you are looking for crisp, clear, artistic, or even remotely good pictures, you are at the wrong blog.)

I watch my two boys enjoy their packets of Dora fruit snacks while gazing at the tank of sharks.  A little boy wanders over, interested in what they're eating.  He turns to his mom, "Can I have those?"

I rifle through the diaper bag, which has enough junk we could be lost in the wilderness for a month and still survive, to try and find an extra package for the little boy.  I hear her respond loudly, yet not to me, "Oh, is that those fruit snack things?  They are just straight sugar.  We do not eat those."  "But mom, can we get some?"  "No, I have healthier snacks for you over here."

After I was done apparently poisoning my kids, we left the aquarium and saw Mrs. Healthy headed to her car.  As I put the boys into the car, she started to yell, this time to me,"Oh my god, did you get a ticket?!?!"

"No, because I parked my car facing in the right direction.  I think there is a law about parking in the wrong direction on the side of a street."  Smug?  Oh yeah. 

She continues yelling, "But this is the right side of the street!"  "Nope.  This is a one way street, so you are facing the wrong way." 

"Well how would anyone know this is a one way street?  There is absolutely no way to know that!"  I search frantically for a way to burst her bubble.  When I can't find one, another mom watching the episode comes to my rescue, "Actually, there are stop signs on both sides of the street, and on  the opposite sides are Do Not Enter signs you must have passed when you turned onto the street."

And there you have it folks; karma.

I don't wish bad things on people, especially harm, but a big fat fine?  Any day.  Especially for someone who had it coming.  My kids may be doped up on fruit snacks, but they will know how to legally park a car.

All I Can Handle

True Random Number Generator Min: Max: Result: 4 Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Congratulations to Heather!  One of my long time blog friends.  Hope you enjoy! 

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"Oh God.  Not another book about Autism."

The very first line in Kim Stagliano's book detailing life as the mother of 3 girls on the spectrum hooked me.

Kim's chronicles and explanations had me saying, "Yes," out loud.  She compares having a child with Autism to a game of chess, "You need to think several moves ahead in order to ward off potential problems" and chronicles an experience of how simply going to pick up Chinese food turns into a nightmare.  I couldn't help but reminisce so many experiences we've had, including just last Friday at the local children's museum.

The honesty in All I can Handle is uplifting for anyone who wonders if others think similarly.  After she and a cop confront a woman who leaves her 3 very young children in the car while going into a store, she confesses her anger isn't just about the woman's horrible parenting.  "It was as much about my disgust and jealousy that she could treat her perfectly healthy, typical kids so callously...that she had the luxury of jeopardizing them in any way infuriated me, when every day I was losing my mind trying to tend to my three girls, who were so far from neurotypical, despite my rules, my good parenting, my expectations."  I've felt this way so many times, but thought it was wrong and taboo to say it.  It's nice to know I am not alone, even though I was a coward until Kim said it first.

It is good to know I am also not solo in thinking, " Sometimes I have to fight the pain of going down the "whatif..." path.  If I start thinking about all of the losses the kids experience...my breathing gets too shallow to be healthy. My heart beats too fast."

She addresses the volatile vaccine conflict, but lets the reader know she is very open minded, won't push anyone in any direction, and won't persecute anyone for their beliefs.  She labels herself a "curebie," an Autism parent who believes her kids will be able to, "live full, independent lives-through a combination of medical treatment, therapy, schooling, and a rosary that stretches from Connecticut to California."  I have personally always had trouble with the words cure and recover when addressing Autism because I feel my child must change from who he is in order to be "cured," and I love him too much the way he is.  Petty, I know.  Kim called me on it, put my mind at ease and had me laugh out loud when she went on to say, " Call it recovery. Call it cure.  Call it remission.  Call it pasta e fagioli.  I don't give a crap what it's called.  I'm not going to argue semantics."  So from now on, I am going with pasta e fagioli, it'll help me sleep better at night. 

A few of my favorite quotes, which I am hoping will prompt you to go grab this book:

When talking about her 9 year old who is non-verbal using a communication device, "First she has to learn how to point her index finger.  That's the complexity of Autism, friends.  You have to teach all the way back to the most basic skills."  I don't think many people realize our Autism kids are missing so many of those basic skills we all take for granted or know how hard it is to try and teach those skills.

"Autism resets your priorities and your budget whether you like it or not." No explanation needed.

"Most of us in the autism world can spot another child (with autism) from across the mall," kind of how people claim to have gay-dar, and yes, most of us Autism parents do have Auti-dar, hmmm, not the same ring.

"My children are not a burden.  I carried them in my body and will carry them as long as they need me.  That doesn't make me a mother superior.  Just a good mother."


I love reading my fellow special needs parents' blogs, and that is what reading Kim's book felt like; reading 200 pages of great posts on a favorite blog. 

I actually received my copy of Kim Stagliano's All I Can Handle about 5 months ago.  I am embarrassed it took me so long to find time to read and write up my review.  However, throughout Kim's book she mentions how up in the air life with kids on the spectrum is, so I hope she understands.  I actually found out Kim lives a few cities away from me, we are on the same Autism parent support group email list, and a story I have been following in the papers is about her daughter. 

The Giveaway

I am giving away a copy of All I Can Handle by Kim Stagliano to one lucky reader.  

To enter, simply follow Mommy To Two Boys using Google Friend Connect, then leave a comment telling me you are.  If you'd like, let me know why you want this book (has no bearing on the outcome, I just like to hear other people's Autism experiences).

Giveaway Rules: This giveaway is open to anyone in the US and Canada.  It begins on April 13, 2011 and will end on April 30, 2011 at 9 pm. One winner with valid entry will be selected at random using random.org. The winner will be announced and must respond with a current email address within 48 hours to claim.  Otherwise, another eligible entry will be chosen. Good Luck!

I was not compensated for this review.  I received a complimentary copy of All I Can Handle.  These are my own honest opinions and thoughts.


This post was written for The Best of the Best Biggest Book Review and Giveaway.  To see more reviews on special needs related books and to enter giveaways totaling over $1000 please visit all entries here.

Sensory issues + Autism + Eye Patch = Frustration

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Jaylen hasn't been through enough?  Having Autism and other related disorders isn't enough?  I haven't been worrying enough about the future, now I have to worry that my son will be a blind autistic adult?

There has been serious concern over Jaylen's eyes since he was about 6 months old (short history here).  He is consistently watched for Glaucoma since they discovered a massive amount of nerve pressure during an exploratory surgery when he was 12 months.

We head to the eye doctor every 6 months for check-ups and the vision in his left eye has been steadily declining.  At yesterday morning's visit he could barely see objects on a paper right in front of him.  The doctor said it was time for an eye patch to isolate the left eye in the hope it will get stronger.  He will have to wear the patch for 4 hours a day for an undetermined amount of time.

I held it together at the doctor's because I needed him to think this was OK and normal.   But at one point in the car ride home I looked back at him and it hit.  He looked helpless, sad, upset, and pitiful.  My pity for this child grows and grows.  I know that is a terrible thing to say, but it's the truth.  My heart aches for this poor little guy who just can't catch a break.

He is legally blind when the patch is on, so he needs almost constant supervision.  He has no depth perception so he can't ride his bike, has to be careful on stairs, and needs help with most daily tasks.  I am sure in time he will adapt.

Now, $60 later, I am eagerly anticipating our supply of Hypoallergenic Elite OrtoPad Boys' Combo pack, which includes great designs like: soccer, dragons, fire engines, and aliens! It better be tax deductible.

My biggest concern is for his left eye.  If this last ditch effort doesn't work he will be literally blind in his left eye.  Which we can handle, but on top of everything else.  I am trying to stay positive and put this in perspective.  He is still a healthy, happy kid and can see, for that I am appreciative.  But for some reason this has hit me hard.  I feel like I have been hit by a truck.  I can't explain why this one thing has tipped the scale for me, but it has.  Enough is enough. 

Guess we know what this year's Halloween costume will be!  Argghhhh!

The Most Offensive Insult I Have Ever Received

WARNING:  I vowed to never use harsh language on my blog and have kept that promise.  However, I am posting something that was written to me which contains a good deal of offensive language.  I completely understand if anyone chooses not to read this.  And if you are in the company of children who can read, save reading this until later. (Note: I will not leave this post up for too long because it is just too hurtful for special needs parents.  I don't like seeing it and want to put it behind me, way behind me.)


Some of my blog posts are syndicated on a great site: Autisable.com.  I have found support, advice, and great information and stories from other parents and individuals on the spectrum. 

Today I received an email about a new comment and as I scrolled down to read it I noticed a message I had not seen.  Reminder, this is a very offensive comment I hate to even give attention to, but there is a point.  I think we should all be aware of this type of repulsive hateful bullshit.



hes a retard, he
will never have a normal life. he will do nothing but shit on him self
and masturbate. do the world a favor and fucking shoot his retarded
ass.. i'm so fucking sick of u liberals, trying to treat this fucking
retard (that can't be taught better then a dog) as their normal.
i'm
screwed for life cause i had the honor of going to school with one of
these fucking basterds (one of the teachers son) he would bite, kick,
scream, spit for no reason. he would walk by or he would ask u something
that u have no clue what the fuck he said. and would result in fucking
abuse. and don't get me started on the stright up stalking of girls they
do. 
HE IS A FUCKING RETARD... wake up u hopeless sap.
sorry to be the one to say this :( ... but don't give your life up for a failed experiment. 



Guess who wrote this?  The same person I just talked about in my last post, good old Anonymous. I refer to Anonymous as a he only because I don't want to keep writing s/he. 

Understand, I am not upset personally by this comment, but it does bother me...a lot.  I have to chuckle at this extreme ignorance and insanity.  I do worry about my son coming into contact with people who feel this way during his lifetime, which makes me want to homeschool him and shelter him forever.  Let alone thinking about the future when I am not around.  It got me to wonder about a few things and I would love some input.

Are there people who truly think this way?

Where did we as a nation go wrong with this undividual? Was it his parents, teachers, friends?

What can I do to make sure people don't grow up with disturbed minds like this?

Does he know my son?  Cause it sure sounds like he does?

And how does he know I am a hopeless sap? Has he seen me cry at the Folger's commercial where the son comes home for Christmas?

Since he is anonymous, we can't send him any direct messages, but if you'd like to reply in case he comes back to see the train wreck, go here: http://www.autisable.com/730307137/warning---i-am-upset---i-hate-autism/?page=1&jump=1520316762&leftcmt=1#1520316762.  I did contact Autisable, so the comment may be taken down.

The good news is, we have already made it passed my son shitting on himself, so the experiment hasn't completely failed...

Accepting what I've been given AND what others are given

If there is a reason I was given a son with Autism, besides the love I didn't realize I was capable of feeling, it’s  because of how it changed me.  I am more patient, loving, thankful, open-minded, and judgment free.

I recently read a poll in Parenting Magazine:

“Should restaurants have the right to ban loud or screaming children?”  

49% said yes and 51% said no 

Please tell me this question was given only to people who don't have kids.  The explanations for yes responses ranged from, “when I was young, parents didn’t let their kids go wild,” to “let’s also ban kids from movies and libraries.”  I'll have to remember that next time I want to bring my two little guys to the public library to look at and pick out books.  And here I was thinking they were welcome there!

My favorite response is from our old friend Anonymous.  Anonymous is a kitten in person but a fierce tiger when typing from well hidden behind their computer screen. Anonymous says that (s)he doesn’t understand why parents feel the need to inflict their brats on the public and are too cheap to hire a babysitter. Anonymous even compares screaming kids to drunks, but feels worse for the kids because they don’t choose to have inept parents.

Guess what, my husband and I CAN'T afford a sitter.  There, I said it.  And we both freelance around the clock, so when he is working I have the kids, and when I am working, he has the kids.  So Anonymous, should I stayed holed up in my house?  Am I not allowed to enjoy my life, get my errands done, and let my children get out in the world?  Guess my kids are those drunks that got stuck with the inept parents you mentioned.

I could obviously go on and on about this, but I know we are already thinking the same things. Instead  I want to tell you about my “moment” of acceptance for what I was given. I have mentioned this story before because it was a life changing moment for me.  

These are photos of Jaylen at 1 1/2. He always looked serious, one of those reasons we had suspicions. 

In the summer of 2008, a 1 ½ year old Jaylen reached out to grab the door handle of a freezer in the grocery section of Target.  I pushed the cart forward to make it impossible for him to open the freezer, willing him to accept change.  Instant tantrum.  Not a normal toddler tantrum, a full on Autism tantrum.  He threw himself out of the cart and onto the floor.  He writhed, kicked, and screeched at the top of his lungs. 

I started to drip sweat and panic. I did everything  I could to get him to stop.  Toys, juice, snacks, threats; nothing worked.

As tons of onlookers stared, gawked, made faces, and muttered, something happened.  It hit me that no one and nothing else mattered.  Throughout his diagnosis process one of my best friends had said, “Who cares about anything except you and him.  This journey will be all about you and him.”

And in that moment, as my son completely lost all control of his physical and mental self, I understood.  I distinctly remember things were suddenly silent, and the store, the shoppers, the employees, the fabulous Target items all turned blurry.  No, I wasn't about to pass out from a panic attack, it was the opposite, all seemed right.  I smiled and looked at my son realizing it WAS all about me and him.  In that moment, nothing else DID matter.  The fit lasted 26 minutes, I still remember that exact number. 

I used to give dirty looks and mutter.  I used to wonder why people couldn't control their kids.  And now I realize you don't know some one's particular situation.  I guarantee many people that day thought I was a horrible mom and I couldn't control my kid.  But they were off, way off.  And I didn't care anymore.  Since that day, I no longer care what happens in public.  I am no longer embarrassed. I will never be embarrassed of Autism, my son, or my parenting.  Ever.

When you see a kid throwing a fit, hitting their parent, screaming, kicking, or not listening, think before shooting that look or thinking the worst.  You never know what their story could be.  Divorce, death, illness, poverty or something else not present in your reality could be the culprit.  And if you are someone getting the looks, tune it out.  Accept what you've been given, as well as the harder task, accepting what others have been given also.  It is about you and your kids, NO ONE ELSE!

I really hope Anonymous drops by and gives us some parental words to live by!