The New Me!

I once read, “You should know the lingo and exactly what you want BEFORE talking to your blog designer.” 

Oops.  My bad.  

Cue Renee, the amazing mind behind Studio Bold. 

Check out her impressive portfolio

This poor woman, who can speak in code like she is in Matrix, had to deal with me, someone who is just getting the hang of this whole dial up thing…wait…what?  Oh, we don’t have that anymore?  I mean just getting the hang of our wireless router. 

 

Many of our email conversations looked like this:

Jean: “Renee, I want to have pretty pictures and white behind my words, photos of my kids, and those little square things with f and t on them.”

Renee: “I know exactly what you mean.  I will just have to ref:a=>:http:skhnfvkdbgfjaldfb:>ref>ahttp:jpg.  Then you may need to ____ (insert more Mark Zuckerberg code here)  Sound good?”

Jean: “I have no idea what you are talking about, but will I have those fun square things?”

Renee: “Yes. It’s exciting!” (While in her head thinking, why, why, why did she win the makeover?)

Renee designed this incredible new header, logo, social icons, favicon, button, and more from my want list of vague descriptions and a few birth announcements with patterns and color schemes I found online.  

She is also a mommy to two boys, almost exactly the same ages as mine, so we had an understanding.  We both have no free time, drink lots of vodka, and she used the insanity that is my life to help with the design.  For example, see how the words in my logo are off balance? Very representative of my life.  Here are more snippets from our emails:

“Oh man, I just got a call from my son’s school and he got his head stuck between the wall and the urinal!”

“Sorry I didn’t get back to you today, we were at a 12 hour wedding with my mom’s crazy Italian side of the family and the ambulance, police, and mafia members were blocking our car in.”

“My son just threw a book at his brother’s head and now his glasses are broken!”

“My entire family is sick and our house was so covered in throw up we had to just walk away and buy a new house.”

(Note: Two of those stories are completely true and the other 2 are based on truths.)

Here is a before shot

And you are looking at the after.

Even at the last minute today I emailed Renee and said, "Wow, how cool would it be (hint, hint) if I had an Autism ribbon made of my blog colors, rather than the rainbow I have now that doesn't match."  And voila, 2 minutes later, that beauty of a ribbon you see now in my sidebar was in my inbox!  

When Renee shared she was going to use before and after screen shots on her redesign post I said, "Cool, I want to, but don't know how...*whimper, sad puppy style*...can you share?"  Just like in high school group projects, I let the others do the work and reap the benefits at the last minute!  Sorry Renee, you know how much I appreciate you, and I sincerely hope you don't have to work with people as computer and technology illiterate as me.

One last note: I won a blog redesign about a year ago and the designer never made good on her end of the deal.  I was really bummed until I won this SITS and Studio Bold contest.  Believe in Karma folks…believe in Karma.    

  

Thank you SITS and Studio Bold.  I feel very at home on my blog now! 

Please also stop by Renee's blog to see her fabulous post about her work on this design.  Her explanation and recap of us working together is way more professional than mine!

My Kid Sees Dead People

I've always had this sinking feeling Jaylen has a 6th sense.  However, kids with Autism don't have the best eye contact, so it could be related to that.  When he looks past me at something over my shoulder, I get chills. It freaks me out when I can tell something caught his eye, yet nothing is there when I turn to look.

The boys and I went to feed my mom's cats while she was out of town.  Jaylen yelled at Xavi to be quiet.  When I told him that was rude he said, "Well I want to hear the man that's up there" as he pointed up.    Since the 3 of use were downstairs, supposedly alone in the house, a lump in began to form in my throat and goosebumps materialized over 98% of my body.  I frantically calmly asked him who he heard and where.  He just pointed up.  "Upstairs you mean?" "No, just up there."  And that was it, his thoughts had moved on.  Needless to say, we left...quickly.

I  never got a straight answer of where he thought the voice was coming from or what it was saying.   It was either burglars in my mom's house, dead people, or Jesus, none of whom I was ready to meet just then.

There have been other things, like him telling my sister to drive carefully, then eerily cocking his head to the side and saying, "the brakes" when we asked why.  Or the time he just blurted out, "There's a fire at Grandma's!" with no explanation as I urgently dialed my mom (there was no fire by the way).

Long time readers of Mommy To Two Boys may know the movie the Sixth Sense totally messed me up for life.  I still have to jump into bed from 4 feet away because of that little girl, you know the one I'm talking about, with Munchhausen's.  I covered my eyes throughout most of the film in the theater and haven't watched, nor will ever watch, it again. 

Who do I blame for my child getting Haley Joel Osmant's ability?  Is someone with great powers messing with me?  I don't think so.

Is this retribution for being scared of a movie starring Donnie-D from NKOTB?  Probably. 

  

I had this poster.

You Choose: A Brat or A Behavior Disorder

I knew Jaylen was different by the time he was 6 months old.  By one year of age he did not connect with us, was often in his own little world, and was hooked on repetitive actions.  At 16 months, when he was still non verbal despite scoring normally on hearing tests, we began the evaluation/diagnosis journey.

Tantrums were the other huge indication something was "off."  At the height of his behavior issues, he would tantrum almost every hour, which left he and I exhausted and confused.  Jaylen's inability to sleep through the night, common for kids with Autism, ensured we were also sleep deprived.

I called a friend who specializes in infants and toddlers with Autism. She told me he was tantrumming for reasons, despite my insistence they came from nowhere.  Sometimes, I knew he was frustrated or annoyed.  Other times I was completely baffled:  Was it pain somewhere he couldn't communicate?  Did he want me to play a different way?  Did he need more or less stimulation?  Having a non verbal child is frustrating, sad, and incredibly trying.  I give thanks everyday Jaylen was able to learn to communicate.


Sometimes these tantrums would be severe, last up to an hour, and involve self injurious behavior, broken objects, and blood chilling screams.  At the time I thought nothing could be worse.  I felt sorry for myself and hated Autism with a vengeance.  I was beside myself and at the end of each day wondered how I could make it through another.

I assumed neuro-typical terrible two's would be simple compared to what I went through with Jaylen.  Was I wrong or what?  This kid is a brat!  Those "typical" toddler issues I had read and heard parents complain about are happening and they are loathsome.

Xavier yells at me in full comprehensive sentences.  He tells me how things are going to be.  When he doesn't get his way he throws things, hits, and bites.  Jaylen couldn't even say no until he was almost 3, which killed me at the time, but now I almost appreciate.  At least Xavier warns us by yelling, "I'm gonna frow (throw) this fish stick" or whichever object has him upset at the moment.  Oh and the incessant whining...I don't even want to go there.

Which is worse?  A kid with Autism, SPD, and ODD?  Or a bratty two year old?  I'm going with the two year old.  Maybe it's because the two year old terror is my current reality. I definitely have more respect for "normie" parents right now.  I realize it's not all butterflies and rainbows with the omission of special needs.

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This post was written for Help! S-O-S for Parents Best of the Best.  Check out this month's featured bloggers here: http://sos-research-blog.com/03/s-o-s-best-of-the-best-edition-4-family-life

I knitted an entire sweater!

No actually, I didn't. And I don't even know if knitted is correct grammar, is it just knit? 

I don't knit, sew, scrapbook, paint, or partake in any other "crafty and creative" type activities.  That's just not me.  But for this week's Blog Gems - Air Your Archives, we are linking to an older post that oozes creativity. 

The closest I've come to creativity on my blog is this poem I wrote for Jaylen's 4th birthday.  I don't claim to be a writer, especially a poet, so read at your own discretion.  It was a heartfelt stream of consciousness that I did not spend more than 15 minutes on.  Enjoy!

http://mommytotwoboys.blogspot.com/2010/10/best-4-years-of-my-life.html

Go read, comment, and then Air an Archive of yours!

"Private" School?

In the movie Temple Grandin, they do an awesome job illustrating how she thinks in pictures.



Her teacher mentions a horse and pictures of horses Temple has seen in real life, pictures, and on TV flash on the screen. I've seen Temple speak twice and both times she discussed how her mind visualizes objects exactly the way the movie portrayed.

The movie also shows how literal she thinks when her aunt says, "We get up with the roosters around here" and Temple pictures her aunt and uncle on the the roof with a rooster at dawn.

I can tell this is how Jaylen thinks, in pictures and very literally.  Sarcasm is completely lost on him.  If I say, "Do that again and you will get time out," he only gets my telling him to do it again.  It takes a lot of thought on my part to word things carefully.

After hanging up with a parent of one of my tutoring students, I told my husband the student was transferring to a private school.  Jaylen abruptly stopped playing on the computer, and turned to me with his mouth open and eyes wide, completely shocked. 

"Private school???!!!"  Eeewwwwwl!!"

I was confused, but my husband laughed and said, "I'm with you son, we think differently than Mommy." 

Then it hit me.  Ohhhhh, "private" school.  Eeewwww.

(Don't worry.  I don't have any pictures to put here.)

Channeling my inner Laura Ingalls

As I handed over $200 for firewood it hit me.  Isn't this earth filled with trees that I could cut down and burn in my fireplace? Isn't there an abundance of this natural resource?  Why am I paying for wood!?  We bought a full 2 cords throughout this winter in the hopes of cutting down on that $600 a month oil bill.  (Environmentalists: don't go there, I know, I know about conservation, etc, etc, this is all in good fun)

Did Laura Ingalls and her family have to buy firewood?  No.  They probably built the Little House in Walnut Grove with wood they cut from trees on their land.  I want unlimited wood.  I want to be able to take an ax and go cut down some wood to heat my home.  Times were simpler.  Everyone was happy and had less expectations.  My days are filled with chaos, stress, exhaustion, and constant rushing.   If I was Caroline Ingalls I could just make sure the kids left to walk to school, start cooking biscuits and stew for dinner at like 3, clean a two room house with almost nothing in it, knit, and then maybe walk to the Olsen's for enough groceries to fit in a basket and pay with what I had just finished knitting.

But wait, cue the record skipping, I'd be dead.  Jaylen and I would have died during childbirth because they wouldn't have realized I had preeclampsia and he had almost no fluids left.  I wouldn't have been given the magnesium that saved my life.  And if for some reason we had lived, Xavi would have died when he was born.  He almost died in 2008 so imagine if he had been born in 1898?



And what about Autism?  Did they have that back then?  Or was it that whole, this kid must be insane let's ship him off to an asylum? Would I have let the doctor's convince me Jaylen was insane and needed to be institutionalized?

This probably wouldn't have been allowed either huh?

Oh well, I guess I will keep paying for wood.

I missed it for 32 years

For 32 years I escaped the high fever, convulsing chills, profuse sweats, aching body, massive headache, intense cold symptoms, and extreme lethargy.  But it finally got me.  Tuesday morning the flu hit my body like nothing I've ever felt before.  I was bed ridden for 48 hours and only got up about 6 times during those hours.

I missed my kids and Jaylen was even crying at school everyday because he hardly saw me and knew how sick I was.  I was banished to our bedroom, which my husband referred to as the Neatherrealm. 

I finally made it to the doctor today and here is what she said,

"Oh yes, looks like you have the flu, AND a sinus infection.  Ouch.  Let me check this throat culture, even though it is nearly impossible to get strep when you've had a tonsillectomy...oh my goodness, this is positive, you also have strep."  

My throat has been literally on fire, it hurts more than after my tonsillectomy.  I haven't eaten more than yogurt, jello, and popsicles in the past 3 days. And I have more than tripled that maximum dosage warning on the acetaminophen bottle.  But now I start antibiotics.

I promised to write about our experience at Autism Zumba so I will sum it up in a few words and a brief video.  The kids had a great time, but it was basically chaos.  The poor fitness instructors, not Autism specialists, just Zumba teachers, really had no idea what they had signed up for.  There was a lot of stimming, headphones, and running.  I find that most kids with Autism we are around have no concept of personal space, including Jaylen.  Poor Xavi kept getting pushed and touched, but didn't seem to mind.

We met a little girl who was very into shoes and needed to know the boys sizes.  Her mom explained, "That's her thing.  She identifies people by their shoe size.  All the kids in her class are known by their shoe size."  I laughed and said, "Oh, Jaylen's thing used to be house numbers, now it's birthdays."  Once again, like the time we went to Autism night at the Aquarium, I felt accepted, unashamed, and a kindred understanding with the other parents.  There was no need to stress about behavior or quirks.

 Don't they look thrilled?   My husband said they look like Zombies.