Now It's Your Birthday!

Pretend play is something kids with Autism really struggle to understand and take part in.  For this week's Blog Gems - Air Your Archives, we are linking to posts that make us happy, mostly because Jen, who runs the Blog Hop/ Meme/ whatever it's called, is in need of some happiness. Her son is having some health issues so keep her family in your thoughts! So my link this week is to a post that made me very happy.  Oh, and it only had 3 comments about a year ago, yes, only 3.  Maybe with some help we can change that.

Check it out! http://mommytotwoboys.blogspot.com/2010/06/now-its-your-birthday.html

Stop on by to share too!

PS: Thanks to the beginning of my new blog redesign by Studio Bold, you no longer have to type .blogspot at the end of my url! Just type in MommyToTwoBoys.com. Go ahead, try it out.

I am at Theta Mom

Today I am guest posting at Theta Mom.

Yes, you read that right, I. Am. At. Theta Mom.  If you don't know her, you should head over now.  She is an amazing woman, mama, entrepreneur, and blogger.  And I am so proud to be a part of the Theta Mom Community.

Theta Mom was one of the first bloggers I met when I started this blog a year and a half ago.  She was very supportive and gave me tons of advice on blogging, time management, and dealing with not so nice women we meet in this blogosphere...and she still does! 

Thanks for the opportunity Theta Mom!   

Even more good news, I won a huge blog makeover from SITS and Studio Bold.  So stay tuned for a massive overhaul and reveal!

Now everyone head over to Theta Mom and read what I have to say about being a work at home special needs mom.

And stay tuned for my next post on where we went yesterday.  Hint:  it was a Zumba class for kids with Autism.  Discuss amongst yourselves and then I'll tell you what it really was like.  Yeah, it's that good.

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Be sure to also check out Mommy To Two Boys Works From Home!
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One Size Fits All?

Did anyone say, "Distract him!" to you when your baby or toddler was crying?

I heard that one.  A lot.   

I did as they recommended and sang.  I took their advice and I built a tower and knocked it down.  I listened when they suggested I sing and dance and act like a clown to get my son to stop crying, screaming, and tantrumming.  It didn't work.

Now that I have a neurotypical child I realize for a lot of kids distraction does work.  If Xavi is crying or being a brat I can usually distract him with a song or a flashy toy.  I can feign excitement over the littlest thing and get him to relax.

Jaylen in 07, 1 year old

That wasn't the case with Jaylen.  He couldn't be distracted.  In fact, he still can't be distracted.  He has laser focus on what he wants, when he wants. 
 

I've talked before about people not passing judgment or acting as if every one's situation is the same.  Being a special needs mom has completely opened my eyes to the reality that each child is different.  What works for one probably won't may not work for another. When I was a teacher, not a parent yet, I didn't understand or grasp this concept. 






My advice for new parents, listen to others suggestions, but remember that you know your child better than anyone else.  If you try something, even something widely used and accepted, and it doesn't work, then move on. To each his own.

This is my favorite picture ever of Jaylen, "Wait...What?!"

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Be sure to also check out Mommy To Two Boys Works From Home

We moved to Manitoba!

 

He is 5' 8"

Our fence is 3 1/2 feet tall. So our yard had 3 1/2 feet of snow at one point.

 

 

We haven't really moved.  This is here in CT over the past few weeks.  Guess I am doing Wordless Friday.

Eat your heart out Babs!

Barbra Streisand singing "Memory."

I have read several articles and books which mention kids with Autism having amazing memories.  I know Jaylen is not abnormal, but it still blows my mind sometimes.

He remembers details of when we moved from MD to CT and he was only 2.  I mean vivid details like us having no lights and packing by candlelight because we accidentally forgot we would need lights the day we moved and cut the power too early, yea us!

I make sure to tell him what we need on smaller trips to the store  because if I have only 9 things in the cart and know I needed to get 10 he will let me know what I forgot.

He remembers that the paint was chipping in his first ABA classroom when he was 18 months.  He doesn't really remember the teachers, just that the paint on the ceiling needed to be redone.


He knows, and used to identify people by, their house number.  Of course my sister has to live in apartment 69 so it was his very first favorite number.  I loved having to explain to everyone why he went around saying 69 all the time.  He always wants to touch the numbers of people's houses, maybe it helps to solidify it, or it's just a sensory thing.  He also likes to touch the room number when we go to the doctor, and once again, always remembers which room we were in, even months later.

If I forget someone's birthday or how old they will be I can always count on Jaylen.  I can ask, "How old is Great Grammy, I have to write it on her card?"  "88 Mom."

I can put on any CD he has heard before, pick any song, and he can tell me the number it is.  This is helpful because he doesn't just say, "I want to hear the song about rockets," he can give me a specific number.   I picked him up from my sister's recently and he kept saying 7 and 13.  When I asked my sister she said those songs skipped on a CD of hers. That was a month ago and I can still ask him which songs it were that skipped.


It is scary to think of what could go wrong that he won't forget.  It turns the whole walking in on mommy and daddy private time thing a much more extreme fear, among others.

Anyone else have a kid with an insane memory?  

It's a Social Story Bonanza!

Nope. I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. I haven't posted or visited anyone's blog in a week because...go ahead and guess...Autism behavior issues!  Yay!

We have been having issues I know will pass; most phases we go through do.  I have been spending more time just giving attention to Jaylen and less time here at my computer.  And because I am in a state of stress, exhaustion, and have headaches, I need to park it on the couch and watch bad TV after I finally get the boys in bed.

I have turned to social stories.  Go to Carol Gray's site for a full explanation, but here is her description, "A Social Story™ describes a situation, skill, or concept in terms of relevant social cues, perspectives, and common responses in a specifically defined style and format.  The goal of a Social Story™ is to share accurate social information in a patient and reassuring manner that is easily understood by its audience." (From Carol Gray's Social Story home page).
  With the help of my son's teacher, some helpful Tweeters and Lynn, I have some good stuff written.




 My latest Social Stories include these topics:

1. I will go find mom when I need her.  I will not sit and scream my head off until our neighbors call DCF.  I will move from my location and look for mom to tell her I wrote a number, counted to 100, liked a part in a show, or need juice.  

2. Going along with above topic:  I will be able to do some things without telling mom.  She does not need to know every single score I get on Angry Birds.  She does not need to hear Bubble Guppies sing the outside song every time the show is on.   She does not need to know I can write the number 6 in Chinese (well actually that is impressive, I do want to know when he does stuff like that, thank you Kai Lan).

If this is not 6 in Chinese but instead is some obscene word, I apologize.

3. I will get dressed without making my mom have an aneurysm.

4.  I will not throw a 45 minute tantrum over little things like not being allowed to carry more than 2 piece of firewood in from outside.

5. Other people do not like to smell my feet. Even if they "don't smell bad." 

6.  I will not pick my nose and then make my little unknowing innocent 2 year old brother eat it.

Yep, that happened this morning.  Made me throw up a little in my mouth.  

Meeting the Eye

...of the King and Eye.  

In November of 2009 I started Mommy To Two Boys.  I met a brilliant Irish mom of a child on the Autism Spectrum who began her blog 2 weeks earlier (also known as a fortnight in Ireland).  We soon found we had a lot in common and became very good friends.  We shared stories, frustrations, and celebrations, and she helped me do anything that related to technology.

Jen came state side this week, and a large ice and snow storm came on the very day we were set to meet.  I wrestled with what to do all day.  Would the trains to NYC be cancelled or extremely delayed? Would I get stuck in New York and have to sleep on a cot in her hotel room?  Would I be able to drive home from the train station if I did make it home?  Would I really want to walk through New York with sleet and freezing rain coming down?

When I asked my husband for advice he said, "Well...I don't usually set blind dates with women from other countries who I meet on the Internet." Jerk.  But really, he was supportive, helping me dig my car out very quickly when I decided to hop on a train 30 minutes earlier than planned just in case.

I DID meet Jen and her "mum" in Times Square, New York because the weather cooperated, which I took as a sign.  We ate dinner together and then had coffee and tea at Starbucks.  It was surreal.  Someone I thought I would probably never meet was sitting across from me.  We both agreed that there were no surprises, we met exactly who we thought we would meet.  Which says a lot about our online personas; they match who we truly are.

 

As I rode home I felt sad, and still feel sad now while writing this.  We barely touched the surface.  There was so much I wanted to ask and discuss and we had only 3 hours.

I can't wait till Jen comes state side again.

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PS: For Blog Gems fans (a blog hop Jen hosts) her mum actually used the word "fortnight" in conversation.  I busted out laughing right in the poor woman's face.

Frustration and Fevers

^Click picture to join^

Frustration:

• I didn't want a smartphone, but got one, fell in love, uploaded my life to it, and now it broke.  Chances are the last app I uploaded was corrupt, which was a spelling app for Jaylen, who said he wanted to learn to spell.  Damn him for wanting to learn!  Now I have no phone until they ship me a new one. 

• Jaylen is sick. Lots of vomit and a fever.  He slept all day yesterday so didn't sleep at all last night.  In fact, when I headed to bed at 11 he told me he was "all done with sleeping." What?  And then at 4 AM he busted in and told me, "This is the longest sleep ever."  So we were up. 

• I owe my sister a drink. She is a mom of three, ages 3, 2, and 1.  Her daughter is terrible with medicine, like Jaylen who gags it up all the time. My sister told her daughter she would have to have the medicine given in shot form at the doctor's if she didn't drink it.  It worked for her so I tried it on Jaylen and it was amazing.  He drank it down without any complaints.  Feel free to use this method.

• I am supposed to meet Jen, my first and best bloggy friend ever.  She is in the states from IRELAND and we are set to meet in Times Square, yet another huge storm, our 8th in a month is set to hit.  3-5 inches.  I am gonna brave it as long as Metro North is still running trains, but it sucks.  It will be cold, snowy, and I am sure will take me forever.  But how could I pass up the chance to meet a great friend who rarely comes stateside? 

 

Fun:

• Jaylen recently learned to say, "Look mom,"  and, "Watch this."  The other day he said it and I proceeded to not really watch.  He was crushed.  He actually said, "Mom, I told you to watch and I turned back and you weren't watching."  It broke my heart and made me laugh.   Who knew he's ever get that concept?

*****Be sure to tune in at 9:00am PST/11:00am CST/12:00pm EST for what is sure to be Comedy Central for the Autism Community.  Two of my favorite Autism bloggy friends Lynn and Big Daddy will be broadcasting live at Autism WTF? HERE. Or you can go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ and search Autism WTF.****