"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Jaylen hasn't been through enough? Having Autism and other related disorders isn't enough? I haven't been worrying enough about the future, now I have to worry that my son will be a blind autistic adult?
There has been serious concern over Jaylen's eyes since he was about 6 months old (short history here). He is consistently watched for Glaucoma since they discovered a massive amount of nerve pressure during an exploratory surgery when he was 12 months.
We head to the eye doctor every 6 months for check-ups and the vision in his left eye has been steadily declining. At yesterday morning's visit he could barely see objects on a paper right in front of him. The doctor said it was time for an eye patch to isolate the left eye in the hope it will get stronger. He will have to wear the patch for 4 hours a day for an undetermined amount of time.
I held it together at the doctor's because I needed him to think this was OK and normal. But at one point in the car ride home I looked back at him and it hit. He looked helpless, sad, upset, and pitiful. My pity for this child grows and grows. I know that is a terrible thing to say, but it's the truth. My heart aches for this poor little guy who just can't catch a break.
He is legally blind when the patch is on, so he needs almost constant supervision. He has no depth perception so he can't ride his bike, has to be careful on stairs, and needs help with most daily tasks. I am sure in time he will adapt.
Now, $60 later, I am eagerly anticipating our supply of Hypoallergenic Elite OrtoPad Boys' Combo pack, which includes great designs like: soccer, dragons, fire engines, and aliens! It better be tax deductible.
My biggest concern is for his left eye. If this last ditch effort doesn't work he will be literally blind in his left eye. Which we can handle, but on top of everything else. I am trying to stay positive and put this in perspective. He is still a healthy, happy kid and can see, for that I am appreciative. But for some reason this has hit me hard. I feel like I have been hit by a truck. I can't explain why this one thing has tipped the scale for me, but it has. Enough is enough.
Guess we know what this year's Halloween costume will be! Argghhhh!