When my 4 year old gets home from school my 2 year old runs over happily calling his name, "Jaylen's home, Jaylen's home! Hi Jaylen."
Jaylen, who has Autism, is not as excited to see his brother Xavi. He is instead focused on juice. He can not tell me about his day, say hi to his brother or do anything else until he has told me exactly what kind of juice he wants and sees I am on my way to get it.
When we drop Jaylen at school Xavi says, "Goodbye Jaylen. Have fun at school. See you later!" Jaylen does not reply unless I force him, often with a fight because he is focused on getting out of the car and getting to the school door.
I am not saying they are not friends. They love each other and have started playing well. At least five times a day Jaylen asks his brother to do an activity with him and wants him to play.
But it makes me wonder:
- Does Xavi understand?
- Does it make him sad?
- Will he eventually give up getting excited if that feeling is not reciprocated?
- When he heads out into the world, okay, preschool, will he not know how to treat others?
- Should I have had another kid so he gets more "normal" social interaction?
- How could I possibly explain it to a 2 year old; I haven't even mentioned the words Autism or special needs to Jaylen yet?
If you are a parent of one kid on the spectrum and one neuro-typical kid, do you see these things? How do you deal with it?
(In case you were wondering, Jaylen got his boating license this summer)
